Gary Goodman has just been selected as a contestant for the latest in reality television. He will spend one weekend in the woods with expert survivalist, Dirk, to find out exactly what survival instincts he has. It promises to be the most adventurous, exciting time ever had in Gary's family oriented, button down life! There's just one problem: The TV show doesn't exist, the contest doesn't exist, and "survival expert", Dirk, is a loose cannon who fantasizes over Gary's white picket fence existence! After relentless ridicule and attacks, the only thing Gary learns in terms of survival is to sleep with one eye open and never turn his back on the madman who tricked him into this journey.